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~~~I AM~~~

[1. Reluctant][2. RustyKnight][3. CrystalMe][4. Gnome][5. FEWDal Crash]
[6. REBORN][7. CRYSTAL BLADE]
[8. DEAD SEA] [9. EAGLE 2]
[10.I am Blessed][11.FireCape]
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RELUCTANT


through the sheets of colored glass
a reluctant warrior peers
praying that he not have to draw his sword
praying he does not have to prove himself
or disprove another

not wanting to test the boundaries
yet he knows
he hangs his head
he knows he must

and with a great have he pushes the panes of glass over
and he stands visible to all
and finally
he lets the hunger rage

for the first time in his life
and as young king
he lets the hunger rage
and the eyes show all
what the King intends

there will be battle
swift furious
and yes bloody
the just...and unjust alike shall be mowed down

for there can only be one will
and he smears his war paint to hide a single tear
and with a roar he launches from his throne
walks steadily bare footed thru the broken shards
and he does not flinch

today he rises
today he stands
and regardless of want
today he is there's
he is their king

and by God and Goddess
he refuses to let them down
down to his last breath
he will move foreward

BY: MJMansfield
7-9-98
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RustyKnight I wear a suit of armor just for you.. your knight in rusty shackles.... broken and battered and loving.... Shiny and dinged and bloody smiling and wincing with joy at your tortures taken each blow with great exhuberance...willing another... Born to serve..Bred to die... Commanded to live...under this cruel guise... Wanting only your smiles...no matter what the cost It is why I survive....torture so sweet To be here with you...taking every blow Watching your release...makes it all worth while For Iím not here for long Born to serve..Bred to die Sweet Shackles of rust...bound to this earth Shiny armor of a heart that could not trust A man stripped naked......beaten so beautifully Naked shining..a new heart of steel A Heart that will not rust That can not fail Born to serve...Bred to be eternal Flames that cannot turn the metal Rage thru and across him The Rusty Knight takes all your torture and feeds the fire Takes every blow...Deep in his heart they turn to rain Cool summers rain....washing him Takes every torture...knowing itís not him Itís you that will never be the same Taking them in...no pain Knowing......... Whincing ..... quickly smiling Born to serve......Bred to Love Smiling.... naked no armor needed Only Love offered back By:MJMansfield 5/30/98 [back to top]

CrystalMe with only the sound of my heart and its vibrant band of colors screaming and singing glimmering in the light a den of noise yet each note is heard and none missed totally overwhelmed yet so soothing not a minute wasted yet no action being taken the beautiful act of being inside of something that is inside of you the gem rotates slowly the force around it spins as well drawing down the energy to be cleansed drawing away from the gem as it draws quickly a new storm arises and with it clean energy spirals up around the gem till the entire cavity of BEing is filled with beautiful blue light spinning and dancing it fills...drives pushing forward with gentle nudges it throws the BEing forward as if catapulted flying thru the levels of itís own being trancending the last one so quickly it barely knows it was yet it always knows it is growing....spreading wildly beaming through out the BEing escaping him..and only growing with each bit given up it is replaced ten fold a glorious loss of that which cannot be lost gifts that have to be given away treasures that cannot be held only growing in worth as they are passed along flaming feathery wisps of light rainbows hidden inside the blue flame not a sound left out in the complete silence every lack of note is a scream of love every void is a crowded inn asking for more to enter to accept the gifts every word not spoken is a speach of love a concert of forgiving and a testamonial of pure caring in this strange silince I beg you dance with me let it fill your ears and eyes your heart and soul and come scream yell cry and smile come scream in the silence with me come sing..the beautiful nothing that is all please..please please come be..... [back to top]

GNOME A small stout gray green gnome slowly rises from the grass Wearing a kingly robe that makes him look like a jester his eyes flash, full of fire of life showing hate love power and gentleness he smiles a long slow smile that angels would wish to have he slowly reaches out his short well batterred arms Stretching grandly his body crackles in resistance But his will is stronger and he indeed makes his stand Looking into the sky to a mother and father that it seems abondoned him long ago closing the glistening green eyes... the smile changes, it is all consuming arching his back slightly he crackles again but this time it is energy rolling off of him Thru him great waves of electricity burst forth...... From every hair small blue flames rage From his outstretched submissive hands comes a barrage An attack of pure love, thousands of years old In waves healing energy rolls off of him spreading growing Rippling out until great waves rush away from him The ancient gnome sits remembering his Lord and Lady Caring not if they remember him for simply he is And in his being he decides he will heal his world Damn the gods, He will be his own god And love will flow again he decides simply it will start here By: MJMansfield 6/28/98 [back to top] FEWDal CRASH Silver crested beast rising slowly from its slumber in the sky Beast of gold and purple....... rising thru the suns glow ancient and fresh.....old spirit .. with the glow of youth Power and ....tenderness.... pure will.....and solid..steel The Fiery Beast neither Phoenix nor dragon.... Rising a new creation in his own image..... the image of his heart..power and love.... The fiery hand smashes thru the dawn.... like the steel workers hammer gone beserk.... sparks of rage..and venom.. cascading from the bows of heaven The blood dripping from his body.... a signal to rage harder not retreat......... a warrior complete.... fire from his eyes.. and pure hate on his breath....sweet sweet as a summers dream gone horribly wrong... the blackness oozes from him.. covering each victim... not only defeated but consumed he rambles on... fiery tracks,scarring the heavens... and scorching hell itself there is no stopping one.... complete in power... dark in love...and light in hate the beast laughs...stay is wonderful.. let them think they have won... the stay..hold at bay..... thinking love...love when I am love.. and I go thru their very souls dragging them into the bowels of my hate with me.... no earth nor moon nor god stops me... The furious hands beating a hollow drum.... pulling attention from the tender insidious tendrils... sneaking thru their very being.... a Darkness so perfect....it is beauty and love........ Violent twisting beauty..... dancing in light.......... and shining glorious beacons of a blue fire.... glowing drawing from all directions.... The Glorious Flames....... *he laughs aloud*...like the gods own erection...... beautiful..no denying...and yet profane....and disgusting pulling all to his center... surrounding them as they move forward.... into his light.... where theirs is but a flicker...... no darkness to run........swarmed by perfect love....Hate *S* Dancing..profanely joyious........ gathering stroking fondling....pleasing...destroying cuddling....breathng...... devouring each sweet perfect soul... Feast of perfection.. gathering.......creating........destroying... Looking up into his brothers eyes....yes love dear love..and sweet sister too... no more to show your way... you will face me alone *smilng* cursing you to be burden with me...... I am to be borne from heaven again... and you will hold me.. and you will be unable to raise a hand For I love you...*smiling*..I Love you cradling each soul tenderly in his gut oh I loved them all.... and I harmed no one... no *he smiles* I played by your rules.... I loved....loved them all [back to top REBORN a slow walking fast talking demon from hell A Gentle smile and eyes of fire He draws up that gut burning desire Cinnamon and Thyme Rising from the ground His words like cream Slow smooth loving sounds Never telling more than enough Or speaking out of turn Gentle gentle lamb The true son of man A winged warrior on a self imposed banishment An unholy sabbatical A very happy child in this unholy land He pulls the ski mask over his face And he slips gently into the human race An imposter on the greatest scale [back to top CRYSTAL BLADE I watch the crystal blade slice thru my brain And the stars begin to shine..... A sweet revenge a murderers binge A sentence for no crime A terror dream A strange strange scene Running thru my mind A million voices screaming for me Not a single one is mine Twisting into the night dark and brilliant Shining bright Hands upon me There is no fight I submit to the knife Crystal dreams The psycho king Here to claim his worlds The sunlights martyr A child of night Not a will of hate But born to fight Silent screams..of joy, my pain Loving all insane Wrapped in the truth so absurd Some would say a game Wild and free Sliced to bits And every piece a new reality Truth is sickness Spreading thru my veins Into the the darkness spreads Bright and honest A terror of truth Going where the path it lead...spinning quietly Sword in deep...twisting.....slaying Saving me Eyes closed the stars revealed The voices scream They scream...silently... They scream peace Violently...peace Filling me Every piece of me....... By:MJMansfield 2-1-98. [back to top

DEAD SEA When you discover all that you are And it no longer exists When you dive deep inside On some Mystical quest And all that you find Is an old empty chest A sign that something used to matter No real hope for tomorrow No real treasure in you Just signs of what used to be No real hope No where to go Just a hollow shell of yesterday No grand quest Or star to be chased Under all the shimmering light Is just another empty night An long empty sea Reflecting back only lights of others Long dead and....and Simply living thru the brilliance of others By: MJMansfield 10/8/98 [back to top EAGLE 2 He is like star dust falling from heaven Choking out the darkness Spreading with the wind For he is pure thought No body to hold him back He is one...with his universe The dust gathers Forms into the Etheric Eagle Soars high and fast Circling his mother earth Basking in her and his fathers love Diving down into his land He glides out of the mist looming larger than the forest itself Each beat of his heart brings his mighty wings down Wings of flaming metal Violet and gold Gentle motions with violent beauty Each slow stroke forms storms Blowing down and away from him Scouring the Earth and any who fall below him Covering them with his love A beast to big too be real Yet to beautiful to be denied Slowly crawling thru the sky He shouldn't be at all But yet here he is Burning thru the night Scorching his existence upon the earth All the while knowing he should be elsewhere Yet he continues Smiling and flying Weary yet strong Mighty yet weak For he loves...and it is good Yet confusing for him Even as he is of pure love It yet confuses him He knows he does not belong But he stays to love as long as he can Satisfied to do all he can while he may After slowly circling his love for years He slowly pulls away into he heavens Hoping his next brother watches the land as good as he With the same love In a flash he is but a memory to the stars By: MJMansfield [back to top I am blessed So many nights Iíve spent Wasting them on praying to a god that just never was So many hours Spent Praying to Gods that just donít care about me So many days wasted Justifying to myself Who or what I was What I was supposed to be Added to those days Are many more Spent worrying over what I was doing wrong Amazingly the last few days Iíve been happy Pondering over all the things Iíve done right Marveling, that in a world where I now put Love first The ending is just the beginning And my mistakes Are just a guide to my future triumphs That now when my gods see me They know I am one of theirs Knowing that if others judge me wrong It is much more their loss, than mine And though I have my doubts I know I have the ability to answer the questions That if I pay attention an answer will be given And in all of this If it seems I am chanting on my abilities Then you missed the whole point I am humbly the follower of love And yes I am proud Proud that I can love you Honestly and simply as you I am blessed That I am allowed to see you as you are And in My Lord and Ladyís will Can love you as you May Peace go with you down all of your paths Simply, and forever, FireEagle/WaterDragon MJMansfield 10/9/98 (FireEagle/WaterDragon) [back to top FireCape The Warrior walks in his Royal red battle garb spottless... Reaching his arm out in a grand sweep.... Pushing the lush cape out of the way.... He reveals a gleaming massive golden sword Reaches slowly down with his other hand And with only a flick of his wrist the sword flies out ***SHHuunnnkkkkk**** Sinking soundly into the wood at the middle of the pit It quivers and hums musically.... The Boys eyes twinkle.... He seems to glow with merriment... Hair blowing back..... He Laughs... Throws his cape high in the air ****BBBOOOOMMMMMM**** A red mist pours up from where he was Stinging everyones skin delightfully, like a warm massage Then quickly rushing up To catch the fluttering cape.... The cape rolls twice upon itself As if it is ready to come crashing down Then suddenly..it spreads wide And burst into flames The wind catches it and it lifts higher As if itís taken a life of itís own Soaring higher the flames..engulf it The flames die out Leaving a dark shadow spiraling back down...gently As if...as..if ...a bird....???...a raven........no As the stars hit the metallic feathers It becomes, clearly, a Giant eagle Landing gently upon the massive hilt of the sword Perched upon it..as if a grand ornament Slowly spreading itís wings The Eagles eyes finds the eyes of those around the pit And speaks to them It is all connection and love Slowly spiderwebs of golden light run across his body and wings Millions of tiny points..... This is us....as seen by My Lord and Lady The way we are and must be The webs grow thicker and faster Until they cover him completely No longer a web but a solid plating....all....no gaps A complete family of love From the Fire in my Heart, My Lord and Ladyís love Slowly he twists and melts into the sword Both twisting downward glowing.....into the wood .....*****POOFFFF*****..... The fire jumps in the pit...taking on life and pupose To draw the family together to show the way to love A beacon for all souls The ground rumbles a bit And raises slightly...bubbles....slowly outward 5 paces from the pond.. It erupts..in flames and Fireworks As it dies down the boy is simply sitting upon the earth He brushes off his lush cape And holds his hands together Blue flames arc..from hand to hand ...****Ker-Poof****... In his hands he holds a chilled red chalice he sips from it it is good as he knew it would be He sighs.... Slips the cape off...rolls it into a pillow and places it behind him Lays back on it relaxes..and stares into the fire...his love..... By: MJMansfield 12/30/97 [back to top